Lessons learned First Hand

Sorry guys that I have not posted anything in a little while, so this post will basically be an update for everything that has happened to me since my last post. As the title implies it's about lessons of life, not just my own either, but of those around me as well.

The first being what I have experienced or more specifically realized. I work in retail which i'll be honest is not a fantastic work environment I know there are several people out there that have worked in the same field though probably not for the same reason as me I don't know that either but that's my personal opinion. The reason I work in retail is because I want to learn more about the Human Psyche and yes I know I can go to college or whatever to get a degree in that, however in that room which you all know what i'm talking about there's a certain tension that cannot be breached and that's why I don't go to college for it. Something that I've noticed is that no matter who you are where you've been or what you've done even if your completely happy you can still be in pain, and it sucks for me because I love to help people I like to play psychiatrist, and on that note a little information about me is the name of this Blog is Kai's Craft Kai being short for ikaichy which is a nickname i adopted back in school, it's an acronym for I Know And I Can Help You. Now back to the main point of why it sucks, and that's because weather I am actually a psychiatrist or not people typically don't know how to share their pain or even really know what pains them though I can see it in their eyes, hear it in their voice, and feel it through their body language and how they carry themselves. After figuring all this out I know now how I can contribute to the world and try and make it and it's population or at least those I can reach better for it and I will actually go to school for it.

A few months back I was torn asunder by something I was fully prepared for and it was not until recently that I figured out why. When my wife left me, she did not really leave me, I mean yes she did physically leave me but after being with someone as long as I was with her you don't easily forget them. I know it's our decision to recall past memories but like she has said in her blog as well "it's what has happened in our past that makes us who we are today we can either accept it and better ourselves or let it consume us" that's not verbatim but it's close enough. From my past I don't just recall the good times like she thinks either I recall the hard and bad times as well, and every day I reflect on those situations on how I could have handled them better or prevented them entirely, yes this is another apology to her for what I did do wrong. Every time I look back at those situations I can actually do better every day, I know right now i'm still not where I want to be, and I can't complain and say it's hard and i don't want to do it, because for the sake of both my sanity and the well being of those around me I have a lot to work on.

On a similar note though, just because I made so many wrong decisions and ignored her as much as I did that never justifies what was done in retaliation and i'm not just speaking from my experience on this. It has happened several times to people I know and even more often to people I don't, and it's not one sided either both women and men are guilty of doing this. That is almost without warning just leaving who they are with, be it that they just disappear and you never hear from them again or one day your doing something together and one party says those god awful words "I think we should start seeing other people". I understand that sometimes it's pretty obvious when things don't work out but even still why not try to work things out and both parties have to contribute, otherwise it's just one party not having any regards for the others feelings or well being and honestly they should have not even gotten into a relationship in the first place. Even then though it can sometimes end in the same result of one person bailing out leaving the other person completely shredded emotionally and physically, and yeah it does physically hurt when you are abandoned like this. 

The moral of this post is, and I know this will kinda sound corny, but seriously guys it's us that are the reason there is so much pain and suffering in this world, and I know I can't change much by posting this but if your walking down the street or in a store or something and you walk by someone why not just show a little compassion whether they are happy or not why not just ask them as your walking by "how's your day going?" even if you don't stay very long or don't stay at all you just shared a little bit of your attention for someone you probably will never see again and they can feel that, that for a brief second they were more then a blip, that they were more then just some person on the side of the road. Start with this small thing and the world will start to become a better place.

Magic isn't just for Mages

This one will of course be about games though at this time I don't really have enough to write on both so the first half will be on Magic the Gathering the card game and the second on World of Warcraft, which both i recently started playing again.

To those of you that do not know about Magic the Gathering or MTG, it's a card game like most trading card games out there like Yu-gi-oh or Pokemon. However in my opinion Magic requires quite a bit more strategy not only in playing the game but in building your decks as well. The basic rules for Magic are you have five different elements or lands that you can play off of; white/plains, black/swamp, blue/island, red/mountain, or green/forest. with these lands you can "tap" their energies and summon creatures of the respective colors typically(some require multiple types of lands). Along with being able to summon creatures you can also cast various spells to either hinder your opponent, boost yourself, or boost your creatures. Each of these cards of course have certain costs usually the higher the cost the better the card as examples black has three different cards(for this example) that kill creatures murder, doom blade, and marked for death. Marked for death has only one land for it's cost and for that reason has the most restrictions and can only kill white or green creatures, Doom blade costs two land and so still has some restrictions being that it can kill anything but black creatures, and Murder costing three lands and being the most expensive single target kill card has no restrictions. Now that I've explained that now I can spit out the short part that i'd like to say, and that is that me and my room mate have started playing again both at home and at tournaments and if any of my readers out there are interested in playing or learning how to play(assuming your a utah reader) you can contact me and we can get started if not you can share your stories or just read on.

Along with MTG I also recently started playing World of Warcraft or WOW after being strong armed by some of my coworkers into playing again. Now for about a week I was consistently refusing them because I really did not want to lose my life again to wow, but then they said "You do know that when we send you a Scroll of Resurrection you get a free level 80 right?" my response to that was simply "Huh!?, What!?". So i caved and took the scroll at this point i have not yet reactivated my account but i am enjoying the free week on my free 80. So on to the point of this paragraph, I love mages and I wish i had brought my mage to level 80 instead of my warrior but oh well my mage was 71 and my warrior was 43 so no real loss there i suppose , the reason i love mages though is because of what they did with the fire tree. Nearly no mana cost on anything and almost every spell can be instant cast by proc or is an instant cast to begin with not to mention being able to cast scorch on the move is very VERY nice. Alas i do not have much more to say because i don't just have no really been in a gaming mood these last couple weeks, could it be i don't need to game anymore!?!?! maybe but i'm fine with that because that gives me more time to contemplate and work on my future like getting into salary at my job and starting college and hopefully getting someone i can hold at night and feel complete for once until that time i will keep on posting here about things i've learned that i think you my readers should know. See you all next time until then good luck and have fun.

Not really sure...

I know I said I was going to alternate between lessons and games but honestly with whats going on right now I can honestly say I have never cared less for games in my entire life. Weirdest part about it is I like it because even though nothing is set in stone not even close I don't think I have ever felt like this before and if she does read this I hope she does not think i'm creepy and what not but I really do like her. What I mean by that is, after my ex left me I will be completely honest I was looking for a one night stand which is horrible but that's just because I felt that horrible but the moment me and this girl started talking that thought has never entered my mind, and to some extent I hope she reads this though it is kind of embarrassing to say, when I see her I just can't stop staring into her eyes and if I do stop it's because i'm shy about it and staring isn't very nice. So I would like to say thank you to my ex for setting me free and yes i do mean exactly what I said because while in her presence i was afraid to do or say anything and that's not love, not sure what i'm feeling right now is love but the only fear i feel around this new girl is nervousness of saying the wrong thing or just plain out being stupid and like I've said never have i felt this way before not with my ex nor with any of my junior high "relationships". I hope one day I will find out if she could ever feel the same about me if not i will learn what was wrong if anything and fix it and move on hopefully not though. Next time i promise my post will be about a game until then good night and see you next time.

Women

I can't really say this will be a life lesson but it's still something about life that I thought I would share. Recently I met a girl and wow I really like her, sad part is I don't know if she feels the same or even knows that I like her. Now when I see her though I just lock up not knowing what to say which is weird for me because I always have something to talk about or something to say. Her eyes are so sharp, crisp, and beautiful that if given the chance I would gaze into forever.


So onto the point of this post. Men are supposed to be confident, rigid, and upfront but when certain women are introduced into the situation all of that goes out the window. When we meet someone that we deem special to us for whatever reason they can literally shut us down completely both in thought and action, and I personally think that's amazing because I have not felt this way in a long time.


Even if she says no i'll still be happy. When you do meet this special person even if I were to be denied by them I would still be blissfully happy simply because of the fact that I got to be in their presence and if I am accepted then I would show her that she was worth more then the world to me, which is really weird to say before even knowing where I stand i guess that makes me a hopeless romantic? Either way to be friends or more with this girl would make my life and my world a much better place I hope to all my readers the best of luck if you have found this person and all the same when you do because that person is out there for you waiting whether they know it or not see you all next time.

I NEED A MEDIC!

So this will be my next game blog and this one will actually be about a game not yet released that I am beta testing, Dust 514. For those of you not familiar with it, it's a FPS game that is will be linked to the already present Eve Online MMO. Your probably asking "What do you mean it will be linked to Eve?" well in Eve there is basically a profession called Planetary Interaction, which before you could do almost uncontested but once Dust 514 goes live that will all change. See in Dust your not just trying to kill each other or capture the flag to see who is the better player, no in Dust the maps you fight on are actual planets in the Eve Online universe and you are a hired mercenary who's sole job is to conquer planets for the highest bidder. On top of that which is an amazing selling point once the game is live it will be COMPLETELY FREE TO PLAY, no joke you can look it up for yourself. In Dust your not just some soldier either no you can literally turn your self into a tank, the customization in this game is immense, for those of you that play Eve Online basically take that and make it a FPS, nearly the exact same setup for outfitting your Dropsuits and Vehicles, which by the way you can hot drop a vehicle basically anywhere on the map. Now to my main point though as the title says there is an extreme shortage of "medics", every game has them in this it's a little different instead they are called logistics but aren't limited to just one dropsuit though you would be a lot more efficient if you used a logistics dropsuit. Also unlike most games where you just have health, in Dust you have a shield and armor which both can be upgraded with modules or you can just go glass cannon and get weapon mods instead, so on that note there are two types of logistics, Armor and shield logistics I personally am training to become an armor logistics because when fitting my dropsuits and vehicles I prefer armor, the reason for that is when i'm being shot at if i'm not 100% aware of whats going on and i'm built for shields I may be to late to turn on my modules for keeping my shield up but with armor I have some leeway while my shield is buffering my actual tank. Anyway long story short Dust 514 is amazing and if any of you do start playing either after reading this or in the future think about playing Logistics keep your team alive win the battle win the planet thanks for reading I will see you all next.

Love is Everything

So this will be my first "Life Lesson" post and as the title says it's going to be about Love. First off i'd like to say these are my views on love and also are based on what I have experienced.

Love is a very fickle creature in every sense. When you find it you must care for it and nurture it, sort of like a plant some would say and I agree with that because if you miss one day taking care of it, it can wilt and die. Unlike what the public says you do not fall in love it's just not possible, you don't plant a seed and expect a crop the next morning it takes patience, perseverance, and most of all hard work.On that note i'm not saying it is difficult it just requires attention or it will eventually die off.

My past experiences still affect me today. I was with my wife for eight years before we separated, and on the day I am posting this it will have been only two months since we went our ways. In light of her leaving me I came to these realizations that I regret i took this long to figure out, but as a great writer once said "It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all". To this day and for who knows how long my now ex-wife will be in my memories, I sorely regret what I did to her and do not deserve a second chance because of it, though I am glad that I had the chance to be with her.

Love is not reserved just for your "lovers or loved ones". Something that I never really thought about until just recently is that love is not a restricted emotion it is also not widely known of but is also respect. after my wife left me I was left jobless, without any funds, and soon to be evicted now i had some "friends" say they would have my back no matter what but when I actually went for help they just turned the other cheek, that my readers is no where near love or respect and on that note if those people do read this I mean no disrespect. There were some people though that would help me with my plight and I have the utmost respect for them when they heard I had no job they helped me get one by driving me to the interviews, when I told them I had no money they bought me food, and when I told them I would be homeless soon they gave me a roof to live under.These people have both earned and deserve my love because they have given me just that.

Never think your "alone" because your single. right now I am single, but I don't feel alone because when I get home from work I still have the people that gave me a roof to keep me company, to share stories, and pretty much be a family. Even with my new Family I still miss my old family my two kids and my wife, so to end this lesson i'd like to say treat every day like it could be your last, cherish those who are close to you and even those you simply walk by at the store because you never know if they may be there to help you in the future, and for the sake of your sanity nurture every last relationship like they are your crop because in the future you create for yourself you reap what you sow. I will see you all on my next post. 

I'm Ezreal, That's why!

Alright so the new Ezreal skin came out about a week ago, and to be expected everyone loves it. The skin changes include all new graphics, animations, sounds, and art. To be completely honest this is the coolest skin I own in League of Legends, and by far my favorite champion to play. Ezreal is a skillshot based champion who can nuke enemies from a very nice range with his basic abilities and snipe enemies from across the map with his ultimate. I play him as an AP carry role because in my opinion once you have his skills shots down and can land far more then half of what you fire then its quite a bit more effective. My build is standard AP runes with a near full utility build on masteries and that is because of a post I found while trying to perfect my build something to the effect of, "if your leveling faster then your opponent then your getting higher level skills and hitting harder without having to go back to get items" and it really is true. When midding by the time i hit level 10 my opponent is usually level 8 or lower unless they went utility as well meaning I have at least one of my skills maxed and almost level two on my ultimate before they even have their first maxed skill, usually meaning I left them in the dust. Now for stat wise on winning games I usually get between 14/5/8-19/8/10 losing games are between 5/4/10-7/6/10 based on my last 10 games played. All in all what i'm trying to say is to anyone that wants to play Ezreal try him AD first get used to his skillshots then go AP and watch your enemies melt and just have a good time. On the note of my Blog I think i will stick with this format basically i'll do one post about league or other games i'm playing right now and then alternate to life lessons i've learned or just advice i'd like to share with my readers if they help at all or give you insight to anything let me know by commenting, also if anyone wants to hear anything about something i have not posted let me know as well and i'll see if i can right about it. I can't say i know everything because i don't, but that won't stop me from sharing the knowledge i do have with you my readers until next time good luck and have fun.